The Strange and Colorful World of Assault
Assault is assault, no matter how clever or creative you get with your weapon of choice. Over the years, a staggering variety of weapons have been used in assaults. These obviously are not recommendations, but rather, are presented as a casual look at some of the more outrageous things have people have used to threaten or assault one another.
- Sarah Howell, of Killeen Texas attacked her boyfriend with cooking oil (room temperature) and a pink stripper pole. The reasons for the assault are unclear.
- A man named Lawrence Deptola attempted an impromptu bank robbery at not one, but three separate banks with perhaps the unlikeliest weapon imaginable: A toilet plunger. Police caught up with him in the middle of hitting his third bank, ending his crime spree.
- In Hawaii, a state normally better known for its beaches, flora, and fauna, Gregory Haas got in a barroom brawl fight with four men, attacking them with a cow’s thigh bone. It is unclear what started the fight.
- In a fight with his girlfriend, John McGuinness coated a pair of her blue jeans in wasabi and whipped her about the face with the makeshift weapon. Then, for good measure, he doused her car with the stuff, after he found her texting a former lover.
- In Deland, Florida, Gorge Olivieri attempted to hold up a local convenience store with a handful of palm fronds and a pair of flip flops. He demanded fifty dollars from the cashier, but was held at bay by a bar stool until police arrived.
- Finally, right here in New Jersey, a Bayonne man, Warren Cuevas, was charged with beating a friend with a detached car bumper.
As colorful as these examples are, all of the people in the examples above were charged and convicted. Assault is a serious crime, no matter how it is carried out. Even if you feel you are justified in your actions, think before you act. You’ll save yourself a vast amount of trouble.
John W. Tumelty has over 30 years of experience defending the rights of NJ residents facing criminal charges. If you or someone you love has gotten into legal trouble, contact The Law Offices of John W. Tumelty today.